I cleaned out the refrigerator last night. It was a huge undertaking, to say the least. I don't really have any advice except, wear a gas mask and only proceed if the area is well ventilated. Apparently we were doing our part to save the universe by starting a compost pile in the fridge. So in reality, all those forgotten leftovers were a positive thing. You wouldn't know it from the smell. But they were well on their way to making some nice soil. And I'm sure they'll do wonders for the local landfill.
So now, I'm going to sit in front of my open fridge all day and stare at the pristine shelves. We have nothing to eat but the fridge is CLEAN!!!!! What could be more fulfilling for the spirit than a clean fridge and a forced diet? I've been needing to lose ten pounds. The easiest way to do it is to remove all food from the house!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
What's for Breakfast?
Me: Here's your breakfast, dear.
Very Wise Husband: Chocolate waffles?
Me: Actually, it's the usual recipe. I just made it a tad bit crispy. But it might go down easier if you thought of it as chocolate. Enjoy!
Very Wise Husband: Thank you dear.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Cleaning the Computer Monitor
Recently I ran into another major clean up issue with my toddler. I had just finished getting my baby down for a nap and sat down at the computer to find my toddler had scribbled on my husband's beautiful, large, expensive LCD monitor. My first reaction was to have a heart attack. My second was to bury myself and my toddler in a hole, to save my husband the trouble. I've heard over and over again how sensitive LCD monitors are and how easy they are to ruin. And I was positive ours was ruined and I was going to be shot at sunrise.
Perhaps I'm being a little melodramatic. But you have to understand, my toddler is the ultimate computer killer. She brought about the speedy demise of our laptop by spilling water on it. It was partly our fault because it was on the kitchen table. But then she murdered my in laws' computer as well. My husband had their computer ( a media center) at our house, fixing it. So there it was, sitting on the floor by the kitchen doorway. My daughter was carrying a cup of juice and tripped.....where did the juice go? Right into the opening of the fan in the computer. The screen went blank and the computer was never heard from again. AND THEN---oh yes, there's more. While I was busy with the baby, my toddler took a watered down bottle of shampoo (another long story involving her) and set it on it's side on top of my husband's newly built (and very nice) computer. The shampoo leaked out and into the computer through a USB plug in. Once again, the screen went blank. There is a happy ending to this story though. I was able to get the computer turned off and wiped out before major damage was done. In fact, after it dried out, the computer worked again. But not before we all passed a nail-biting twenty-four hours of wondering if this computer would go the way of all the others.
So now back to the scribbled on computer screen. After I finished hyperventilating, I did a little research. Here's what I came up with. To clean your LCD monitor, mix equal parts rubbing alcohol and distilled water. Using a very, very, very soft cloth (an old handkerchief or a cloth specially designed for cleaning monitors), wipe your computer screen gently with the alcohol mixture, being careful not to press too hard. It even removes pen, THANK GOODNESS!
By the way, I should say my husband is very good about not blaming me for my daughter's actions. Although, sometimes he would probably like to lecture me about keeping a closer eye on her, he restrains himself.
Perhaps I'm being a little melodramatic. But you have to understand, my toddler is the ultimate computer killer. She brought about the speedy demise of our laptop by spilling water on it. It was partly our fault because it was on the kitchen table. But then she murdered my in laws' computer as well. My husband had their computer ( a media center) at our house, fixing it. So there it was, sitting on the floor by the kitchen doorway. My daughter was carrying a cup of juice and tripped.....where did the juice go? Right into the opening of the fan in the computer. The screen went blank and the computer was never heard from again. AND THEN---oh yes, there's more. While I was busy with the baby, my toddler took a watered down bottle of shampoo (another long story involving her) and set it on it's side on top of my husband's newly built (and very nice) computer. The shampoo leaked out and into the computer through a USB plug in. Once again, the screen went blank. There is a happy ending to this story though. I was able to get the computer turned off and wiped out before major damage was done. In fact, after it dried out, the computer worked again. But not before we all passed a nail-biting twenty-four hours of wondering if this computer would go the way of all the others.
So now back to the scribbled on computer screen. After I finished hyperventilating, I did a little research. Here's what I came up with. To clean your LCD monitor, mix equal parts rubbing alcohol and distilled water. Using a very, very, very soft cloth (an old handkerchief or a cloth specially designed for cleaning monitors), wipe your computer screen gently with the alcohol mixture, being careful not to press too hard. It even removes pen, THANK GOODNESS!
By the way, I should say my husband is very good about not blaming me for my daughter's actions. Although, sometimes he would probably like to lecture me about keeping a closer eye on her, he restrains himself.
How To Clean Crayon off of Walls and Other Surfaces
I can't really call my blog "The Common Mom's Guide to Survival" if I don't give some tips on surviving. So here is my tip for the day: How To Get Crayon Off Most Surfaces.
My toddler is a budding artist. (Or a budding delinquent but I don't want to consider that yet.) So I bought her crayons to encourage her scribbling. But a box of crayons opens up a whole new realm of possibilities for a toddler. As adults we know we are restricted to writing on paper. But you give a toddler a crayon and the world is their notebook. Literally. Let's face it, every toddler is going to take a crayon to something besides paper. At this point, please do not comment, email, or call to tell me that YOUR child NEVER wrote on anything but paper. That's wonderful for you but I don't want to hear about it. Now some of you (especially those without children) are thinking, "She wouldn't have this problem is she would just supervise her children while they have crayons." Exactly. However, I can't be with my children every second of the day. We'd all go crazy if we had to shower together, do the dishes and the laundry together, get the mail together, and go to the bathroom together. As a mother, I cherish my time in the bathroom because it is one of the few places I can go without feeling guilty for closing the door on my kids. You know you are a mom when bathroom breaks become very infrequent and very enjoyable.
Where was I? Oh yes. Crayons in the hands of unsupervised children. So now you've got this great mental picture of me giving my daughter a bag of crayons and telling her to have fun while I go take a shower. Um, no. That's not how it is either. I keep the crayons put away unless I can be there to supervise. But the point I am failing miserably to make is that KIDS WILL FIND THINGS. They'll find your hiding place for the crayons. And next they'll find your hiding place for chocolate, so if you cherish your chocolate, heed this warning.
Now, I'm not telling you all this so you will be afraid of crayons. There is nothing to fear from the little wax sticks. It is your children you should fear! No, I'm kidding....sort of.
The bottom line is, crayons can be disastrous on walls and other things. But I'm going to give you my secret for removing it. Here it is: BAKING SODA. Baking soda works wonders on crayon. So far I've used it to take crayon off a door, a painted wall, a high chair, and a walker. I make a baking soda paste by mixing a little water with some baking soda in a small bowl. Then I put a small amount of paste on a rag and gently scrub the crayon marks. It works every time. Did you know you could use baking soda to clean other things too? You can use the same paste to shine up your jewelry too. And you deserve some shiny jewelry if you are trying to corral and tame an energetic toddler all day!
My toddler is a budding artist. (Or a budding delinquent but I don't want to consider that yet.) So I bought her crayons to encourage her scribbling. But a box of crayons opens up a whole new realm of possibilities for a toddler. As adults we know we are restricted to writing on paper. But you give a toddler a crayon and the world is their notebook. Literally. Let's face it, every toddler is going to take a crayon to something besides paper. At this point, please do not comment, email, or call to tell me that YOUR child NEVER wrote on anything but paper. That's wonderful for you but I don't want to hear about it. Now some of you (especially those without children) are thinking, "She wouldn't have this problem is she would just supervise her children while they have crayons." Exactly. However, I can't be with my children every second of the day. We'd all go crazy if we had to shower together, do the dishes and the laundry together, get the mail together, and go to the bathroom together. As a mother, I cherish my time in the bathroom because it is one of the few places I can go without feeling guilty for closing the door on my kids. You know you are a mom when bathroom breaks become very infrequent and very enjoyable.
Where was I? Oh yes. Crayons in the hands of unsupervised children. So now you've got this great mental picture of me giving my daughter a bag of crayons and telling her to have fun while I go take a shower. Um, no. That's not how it is either. I keep the crayons put away unless I can be there to supervise. But the point I am failing miserably to make is that KIDS WILL FIND THINGS. They'll find your hiding place for the crayons. And next they'll find your hiding place for chocolate, so if you cherish your chocolate, heed this warning.
Now, I'm not telling you all this so you will be afraid of crayons. There is nothing to fear from the little wax sticks. It is your children you should fear! No, I'm kidding....sort of.
The bottom line is, crayons can be disastrous on walls and other things. But I'm going to give you my secret for removing it. Here it is: BAKING SODA. Baking soda works wonders on crayon. So far I've used it to take crayon off a door, a painted wall, a high chair, and a walker. I make a baking soda paste by mixing a little water with some baking soda in a small bowl. Then I put a small amount of paste on a rag and gently scrub the crayon marks. It works every time. Did you know you could use baking soda to clean other things too? You can use the same paste to shine up your jewelry too. And you deserve some shiny jewelry if you are trying to corral and tame an energetic toddler all day!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
If You Think This is a Mess, You Should See It on a Bad Day!
The life insurance guy stopped by unexpectedly this morning to add our baby to the policy. My house was a DISASTER. Crayons, coats, books, and toys were everywhere. My toddler had even taken the liberty of scattering clean silverware from the dishwasher all over. And there were a few unopened Powerade bottles lying around because my toddler thinks they are her friends. (Yes, she should perhaps see a psychiatrist.) And then of course there are messes of my own making. Craft projects that have been piling up for weeks and bills needing to be filed.
And of course, I was the biggest mess of all. I had showered (THANK GOODNESS!) and had clothes on. But I hadn't taken the time to do my after my shower so it was a frizzy mess and I only had half my makeup on. I'm pretty sure I looked like the little old lady on Princess Bride. Miracle Max's wife. Isn't that his name. ANYWAY. All in all, I'm sure it was a horrific sight for the poor man. To say he was taken aback is a bit of an understatement. He said he was sorry to drop in on me. I'm sure he was. Now honestly, my house isn't always this bad. Really it isn't. I thought of several valid excuses I could have given for the mess but spoke none of them out loud. Why? I don't know. Maybe so he would think twice before he ever came to my house again without calling first. But whatever the reason for not speaking up, I feel like I need to validate myself now by listing the things I could have said to the man:
1. Wipe that bewildered look off your face buddy. At least I'm dressed!
2. Honestly, it could be a lot worse. (And probably has been.)
3. Normally I don't allow visitors before noon.
4. I'd invite you in to another room but they all look like this one today.
5. This is nothing. We just picked up last night. (And that's the truth. My husband helped me pick up last night.)
Now, I know those are all more facetious answers but in all honesty, my baby has been sick for the past few days and things have piled up. They tend to do that when the baby just wants to be held. And then yesterday, I went to cut some bread for my daughter's lunch and found that my bread was moldy. So I had to make bread yesterday afternoon. So instead of spending time cleaning, I made bread which makes an even bigger mess. See? I have some valid reasons for having a messy house. And now, an after hour the insurance leaves, my house is looking much more livable. Truly, it is! I'd call the guy back and invite him for a peanut butter sandwich cut into a star shape (minus the mold of course) and some juice in a princess cup, but I'm pretty sure I scared him good enough that he'll never come back. That's okay, we were thinking about switching insurance providers anyway.
And of course, I was the biggest mess of all. I had showered (THANK GOODNESS!) and had clothes on. But I hadn't taken the time to do my after my shower so it was a frizzy mess and I only had half my makeup on. I'm pretty sure I looked like the little old lady on Princess Bride. Miracle Max's wife. Isn't that his name. ANYWAY. All in all, I'm sure it was a horrific sight for the poor man. To say he was taken aback is a bit of an understatement. He said he was sorry to drop in on me. I'm sure he was. Now honestly, my house isn't always this bad. Really it isn't. I thought of several valid excuses I could have given for the mess but spoke none of them out loud. Why? I don't know. Maybe so he would think twice before he ever came to my house again without calling first. But whatever the reason for not speaking up, I feel like I need to validate myself now by listing the things I could have said to the man:
1. Wipe that bewildered look off your face buddy. At least I'm dressed!
2. Honestly, it could be a lot worse. (And probably has been.)
3. Normally I don't allow visitors before noon.
4. I'd invite you in to another room but they all look like this one today.
5. This is nothing. We just picked up last night. (And that's the truth. My husband helped me pick up last night.)
Now, I know those are all more facetious answers but in all honesty, my baby has been sick for the past few days and things have piled up. They tend to do that when the baby just wants to be held. And then yesterday, I went to cut some bread for my daughter's lunch and found that my bread was moldy. So I had to make bread yesterday afternoon. So instead of spending time cleaning, I made bread which makes an even bigger mess. See? I have some valid reasons for having a messy house. And now, an after hour the insurance leaves, my house is looking much more livable. Truly, it is! I'd call the guy back and invite him for a peanut butter sandwich cut into a star shape (minus the mold of course) and some juice in a princess cup, but I'm pretty sure I scared him good enough that he'll never come back. That's okay, we were thinking about switching insurance providers anyway.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Dessert for Dinner
Two words today: CINNAMON ROLLS. I am trying out a new recipe. If only I could get as excited about cooking dinner. Cooking dessert is much more fun than dinner. I can think of several goodies I would love to make. But when it comes to dinner, my mind goes blank. So today we are having cinnamon rolls for lunch. They have milk, butter, and cream cheese in them so it's a good serving of dairy, right? Protein!
I admire anyone who can eat healthy all the time. They're dedicated, determined, generally in really good shape, and they'll probably live to be a hundred. But I look at the way things are going in the world and I don't think I want to live to be a hundred. So I'll stick with my cinnamon rolls. If they turn out, I'll post the recipe.
I admire anyone who can eat healthy all the time. They're dedicated, determined, generally in really good shape, and they'll probably live to be a hundred. But I look at the way things are going in the world and I don't think I want to live to be a hundred. So I'll stick with my cinnamon rolls. If they turn out, I'll post the recipe.
Winter Blues
Winter blues anyone? "Winter blues" is the term for that feeling you get the day after New Year's Day when you realize there are still three more months of winter--give or take a month-- and your credit card bills from December will soon be due. So you have no money and you have to be shut up in your house for three more months with two children, a dog, a husband, and all those little dust particles floating in the air. Okay, that may not be your exact situation. Your situation might even be worse. You might have seven children, three dogs, a cat, and a great-aunt who is nearly deaf and like to watch TV in the middle of the night. Now if that's not your situation...count your blessings. It can always get worse. However, it is hard to remember that it can get worse when you are confronted with gray skies every day for months. So today I tried to come up with ten good things about winter. So I've made a list. But first of all, I have to say, Christmas, Hanukkah, etc. are not on the list because that is the fun part of winter. I'm trying to come up with good things about the second, more dreary half of winter. So here's what I have so far:
1. Long, Luxurious Baths. (A hot bath just doesn't sound good in the summer.) (And of course this is depending on whether you can sneak away from the family long enough to enjoy one.)
2. You don't have to shave your legs as much! There is no need to shave if you aren't wearing shorts. We can always dream, right?
3. Hot Chocolate. Need I say more?
4. A Glowing Fire in the Fireplace. Again, what more can be said.
4 1/2. Okay, this is kind of cheating so I didn't list it as its own number. After a long, hot bath, you can dry yourself by a fire while drinking hot chocolate!
5.Tax Returns. Now this one may not apply to everyone because a lot of people don't do their taxes until spring and a lot of people don't get any money back either. But we just did our taxes so I had to put on here!
6. Sledding. We just took our toddler sledding for the first time and she loved it. Incidentally, the dog loved it too.
7. I Don't Have to Mow the Lawn, or Weed the Garden.
8. You Get More Exercise Trudging Through Deep Snow Than Just Walking on a Bare SideWalk.
9. Snowdays! Those rare days when school is called off and you can go back to bed and then enjoy a pancake breakfast with....HOT CHOCOLATE!
10. Tell Yourself You CHOOSE to Stay Home Instead of Seeing it as Being Cooped up Because of the Bad Weather. Pretend You Are on a Winter Long Vacation from the World. Go Out Only When Absolutely Necessary!
1. Long, Luxurious Baths. (A hot bath just doesn't sound good in the summer.) (And of course this is depending on whether you can sneak away from the family long enough to enjoy one.)
2. You don't have to shave your legs as much! There is no need to shave if you aren't wearing shorts. We can always dream, right?
3. Hot Chocolate. Need I say more?
4. A Glowing Fire in the Fireplace. Again, what more can be said.
4 1/2. Okay, this is kind of cheating so I didn't list it as its own number. After a long, hot bath, you can dry yourself by a fire while drinking hot chocolate!
5.Tax Returns. Now this one may not apply to everyone because a lot of people don't do their taxes until spring and a lot of people don't get any money back either. But we just did our taxes so I had to put on here!
6. Sledding. We just took our toddler sledding for the first time and she loved it. Incidentally, the dog loved it too.
7. I Don't Have to Mow the Lawn, or Weed the Garden.
8. You Get More Exercise Trudging Through Deep Snow Than Just Walking on a Bare SideWalk.
9. Snowdays! Those rare days when school is called off and you can go back to bed and then enjoy a pancake breakfast with....HOT CHOCOLATE!
10. Tell Yourself You CHOOSE to Stay Home Instead of Seeing it as Being Cooped up Because of the Bad Weather. Pretend You Are on a Winter Long Vacation from the World. Go Out Only When Absolutely Necessary!
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